Meet Logical Brain and Emotional Brain! Who’s supposed to be in charge?

For those who aren’t aware, we have two brains inside our heads: Logical Brain and Emotional Brain. I grew up thinking Logical Brain was always supposed to be in charge; it took me years to realize why that was wrong.

But I’m getting ahead of myself. Let me introduce you to Logical Brain and Emotional Brain: Logical Brain (aka: Cognitive Brain) sees your life through the lens of logic. According to Logical Brain, everything is supposed to make sense and there is a rational explanation for everything. If you just think through things thoroughly enough, you will get to a solution. There is no place for emotion in Logical Brain; your thoughts run the show.

According to Emotional Brain, life is all about the feels. Emotional Brain only knows what it feels. That’s where all of its information comes from – your emotions. There is no logic in the Emotional Brain; things feel good or they hurt. Emotions motivate your behaviors and run the show.

I often check in with my patients about whether they’re “in” Emotional Brain or Logical Brain in a given moment. What lens are they using to view the current issue through? Are they giving more weight to their thoughts or their feelings? Who’s running the show?

I wish I had had a me when I was growing up to teach me about Logical Brain and Emotional Brain and who is supposed to be in charge.

I grew up with a very stoic, intellectual dad. He was in Logical Brain all the time. My mom was much more emotional, and because she was also an alcoholic, I connected her feelings with her drinking (i.e., they were bad). My dad felt solid; my mom did not. I concluded very early on that being emotional was the inferior option. The goal was to live life from Logical Brain.

And that’s what I tried to do. I gave much more weight to my thoughts than my feelings. I chose the logical option instead of the emotional option when I saw the choice. I didn’t see my feelings as an important source of information; they were obstacles to be dodged and avoided.

Any guesses about how well that worked out?

Right – not well! My life was bland and flat and not based on me. It was based on what I thought was the “right” thing to do, the “logical” thing to do.

I eventually became so dissatisfied that I made a significant change. I dabbled for a while in the possibility that Emotional Brain was supposed to be in charge, but given how unfamiliar I was with my Emotional Brain, I had no ability to “steer” it effectively. It kind of ran amuck, and I just tried to keep up. It took me quite a while to learn how to be more comfortable with my emotions and how to connect to their wisdom.

And then I realized that neither Logical Brain nor Emotional Brain are supposed to be in charge. They are both simply data points, equally important sources of information.

So who is supposed to be in charge??

You.

Hierarchically, you are at the top of the heap, and your Logical Brain and Emotional Brain are below you. You are not your thoughts and feelings. You are the one who notices your thoughts and feelings. You are the one who has thoughts about your feelings and feelings about your thoughts. And you are the one with the job.

It’s your job to notice your thoughts and notice your feelings and then decide how much weight to put on each based on how helpful and meaningful they are. It’s not as simple as logic or emotion. One is not better than the other; both are needed.

I want you to practice being in charge. For the rest of the day, pay attention to when Logical Brain is talking and when Emotional Brain is talking. Then decide what information you want to take from each and what information you want to leave as you decide how to move forward in your day.

Life starts to feel more connected, meaningful, and fulfilling when you are in charge!